Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
