I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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