haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
