Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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