it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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