the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
