Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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