Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
