THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
