I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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