Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
