Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize