She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
