Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
