Sry I called you an 8
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
