btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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