Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize