Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
