I think I just saw someone hide a body.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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