The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
