I got chris browned last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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