dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
