How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
