He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm at about main and main street
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
