he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I can tuck mytits in my pants
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
