I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
