Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
