I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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