okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
