i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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