No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
