My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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