I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She just used a chaser for red wine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
