Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
