i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
