She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
