Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
