There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
