So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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