So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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