Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
