Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize