why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my shit smells like andre
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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