I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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