she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
