Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
