I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
