In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
