Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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