NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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