Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
