loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
