So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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