Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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