I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
