Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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