We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
