a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
ttyl tear gas
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
