Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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