i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
