I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
