My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
