His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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