I skipped work to stalk him.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's always time for handjobs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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