The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dick very happy bro
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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