I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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