why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize