im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't notice because vodka
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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