Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
