These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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