Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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