can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
