i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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