I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
