Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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