Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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