in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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