last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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