so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
did i walk over a car last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
