I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He? As in you personified your dick?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
