we have pet lesbian snakes
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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