Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
