After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
