and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
