so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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