he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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